Thongs and Bradycardia

Firstly, let me set the scene. I am sat out on my 13th floor balcony in shorts, t-shirt and thongs*. It’s just past mid-day and the sun is shining ….shining somewhere behind the wall of smog/cloud that seems to permanently hang in Shenzhen’s sky. But shining nonetheless, which immediately lifts my mood – further confirming my own personal theory that sunshine is imperative to a healthy human condition.

View DOWN from my 13th floor balcony

In other news, the results of my thorough medical in Guangzhou came back. I am happy to report that I officially do not have Scarlet Fever, Dysentery, VD, Manic Psychosis, Leprosy or the Plague! However there was a worrying moment when I noticed the summary at the end of the report contained the words “further examination required”. Eeeek! Luckily this was in reference to my ECG results, which showed “Sinus Bradycardia” – which, to any former GCSE Biology students out there, should ring bells – as it is simply posh medical speak for “slow heartbeat”. I breathed a sigh of relief when I realised that any further examination would simply reveal that I am quite fit at the moment, hence a heart rate of 48bpm 🙂

Page 1 of my medical results

After 2 weeks of observing other Foreign Teachers’ classes, and teaching the odd 20mins of their classes myself, the school found a new class for me to teach. Entitled “School Days”, this would involve teaching ten 4yr/5yr olds, for an hour and a half, twice a week. Piece of cake right? Not so! I’ll update you with news of how the first class went next time, for now I’ll tease you with some more scene setting.

So the school is a training school as opposed to a Mon-Fri, 9-5 kind of place. So kids come after school and on weekends for lessons. Thus, it is much more of a business than “normal” schools, and a lot of emphasis is placed on increasing student numbers, and keeping the clients (parents) happy. I’ve been told that when the school has about 70 students, it is at break-even point in terms of profit/loss. Currently it has 80. My class would potentially take numbers to 90 kids, and put the school firmly in the black, and make everyone very happier. So far, so simple, but here is the catch. The ten kids I am going to teach haven’t paid for the classes yet, they are offered a trial class, during which the parents will sit-in on the last 20mins! So not only will I have to figure out how to keep the 4yr olds’ attention for 90mins, I will have to dazzle the parents with my teaching, err… skills?! If the kids spend the whole time crying, and the parents see through my façade and realise that I’ve never taught before and don’t really have patience for tiny kids…. there will be no new class, the school won’t get its extra 10 kids, and well quite frankly, I’ll be in the shit! No pressure then…

View UP from my 13th floor balcony

*Thongs = Australian terminology for flip-flops 😉